Friday, February 8, 2013

grey area

By the way, grey and grey are both acceptable spellings of the color.  Gray is typically used in America, and grey in Great Britain.  I like -ey.

It's about to get real, y'all.

There is an organization on campus that is basically geared toward empowering black women.  I was invited to two nights of speakers, and have immensely enjoyed both events.  I have a page filled with notes consisting of inspiring words, as well as advice.

Here's the thing.

I am not a black woman.  Obviously I have my own struggle--we all do, but I do not know the struggle of a black woman.  I am blessed to be in a relationship with an amazing black man--who does not know the struggle of a black woman.  

I have absolutely no frame of reference.  When the speaker would say things like There is nothing better than to be a black woman, I felt myself looking down at my feet.  I don't feel as if I have the right to throw out an Amen or anything as such.  I am not a black woman.

While I have the utmost respect for the sensational women who spoke to the organization, and those who are part of the organization, I have a difficult time relating to phrases like women of color.  

I'm beige--what does that mean?

I was raised to see no color.  I don't know if I have told you before, but I'm a military brat.  I've been exposed to every kind of color that people come in.  I often forget that Boyfriend is a different color than me, and has a different history than I do.  

Boyfriend is a leader around campus--he's involved in many organizations and employed by the school.  Some believe that a black woman should be by his side--that a white woman is inadequate.  I believe that NO woman could possibly love him and care for him as much as I do.  

I thought I would feel better after writing this, but I don't.  If any of you have any insight or anything that could help me (if you could even follow my thought process), as always, feel free to comment.
piece and love,


  1. I sadly have no advice for you, but I love you so much for this. You're right when you say that no one can love and support Leroy like you, and there are always going to be people that disagree. You two are a perfect example of how people should be.

  2. I really wanted to be a part of the organization you're referring to but I had no clue how to go about joining. When the speaker said "There is nothing better than to be a black woman" should have just thought "Well obviously, she's never been a Kayla." I second the notion that no woman could love your boyfriend more than you. People focus too much on color. You said it yourself; you have your own struggle. Your struggle includes situations like this.... not being able to relate. Your struggle includes people judging you based on the color of your skin. Your struggle is you knowing that you and your boyfriend are soul mates and other ignorant people second guessing that. I can only imagine how out of place you must have felt at events…. This is how I feel every day in my classes when I’m the only black person in a classroom of 25 or 30 people. It really does suck not being able to relate. Don’t worry about the struggle of a black woman; you have your own struggle love.